Once upon a time, in a far-off kingdom called Wyckoff, New Jersey, there lived a band of three young brothers - squeaky-clean moppets who loved girls, God and rocking the heck out, not necessarily in that order. They performed as part of an antidrug school tour and opened for the Cheetah Girls. Life was good. Then one day Disney came calling, plucking the brothers from obscurity and turning them into a tight-suited, squeal-inducing adolescent phenomenon. Hear the cry go up throughout the land: JonasJonasJonasJonasJonas!

In case you haven't encountered a junior-high student in the past 18 months, the Jonas Brothers are basically like the Beatles, only more talented and soo much cuter. An opening slot on last year's Hannah Montana tour launched then into the tween-pop stratosphere. Now, with the full weight of the Mouse marshaled behind them, the cross-branding has reached saturation levels: There's a behind-the-scenes reality show, a made-for-TV movie (Camp Rock - think High School Musical with s'mores) and nonstop radio airplay, not to mention a 3-D concert flick scheduled for 2009 and J.O.N.A.S., a prime-time series on the Disney Channel. Zac Efron must be so pissed.

So just who are these few, these happy few, these Jonas brothers? Nick, 15, is the prodigy; slender and baby-faced, with a mop of chestnut curls, he writes most of the songs and sings most of the choruses, where his nasal, post-pubescent keen has maximum sing-along impact. Joe, 19, is the handsomest Jonas; his duties include singing and having great hair. And 20-year-old guitar player Kevin, the Cooper Manning of the family, seems happy just to be included. (There's one more brother, 7-year-old Frankie, whom fans call Bonus Jonas. Look for his debut circa 2015.)